APS wk 4 & 5

.... bc ohhhmyfuvkengoooodness I felt sooo fuvkn dog shite!,.... Two weeks in a row, on th Wednesday,. after attending on Tues! 

......... AND this in no way has anything to do with th APS course, or Northey St at all. Tuesdays are our theory days, mostly spent sitting taking notes.

So wk 4, Tuesday attend, ag, fin, walk to train. Tuesday night I felt sick as, over heated, dizzy, general hungover like. Continued feeling dodge city Wed, Thurs. Thurs night kinda came good but still 'off'. I figured I was getting a head cold, ate good, rested, never eventuated to anything, no snot, no cough, no nuffins, so I'm like awesome, let's goooo!

Tuesday rolls around, do all th things, fin, , walk to train after, all good. Uuuuntil half way home I get full motion sickness, pulling all th trix to not blow chunks on th train, literal cold sweat, literally biting my tounge, lunch box tightly gripped in hand just in case 🤢 Thank fuvk th train wasn't packed. Get off, hi's to fam, driven home, straight to shower, bed. And then 30min later I'm driving th porcelain bus🤮

Th only thing I can put it down to is heat stress.

Th only thing I can think of, th only real common, th walk to th train! It's done me dirty!

Here I am feeling like I'm getting my shit together, getting fit, being independent! Take that agoraphobia! Suck it anxiety! Look at me fuvkn goooo!.........gooo straight to fuvkn bed, do not pass go, do not collect $200 😭 this ol bitch now feeling like I'm having th rudest wake up call. I am unfit. I am not used to walking up hill in middle of th afternoon. Gaslighting myself like, it's not that far, it's only a Km ish, it's not that hot, you get a whole ass hour and a half on th train to wind down, I've got my lil bottle of stamina I'd, plus water, it couldn't just be that lil walk, could it? ..but honestly I don't know what else could be going on, and now I'm scared! Again, I continued feeling dogshiiite for a few days, like I'm hung over, and still hot. It doesn't help that it's actually really fuvkn hot any ways. And now I'm feeling vulnerable sharing this, yay! Clearly I'll sort some alternative actions out for next wk, bus, submarine, etc, bc there's no way I'm missing this.

So moving on, thats been fun 😊🙄😂 melodrama aside,.. 

APS wk4 - Irrigation! Big talks about all th things, and then all about practical installation of basic irrigation specifically for th Northey Street Kitchen garden, but transferable to any garden. Th ins n outs, ys, how's, th lot. Extreamly valuable. I've done a lil set up with ppl in in past, and it was such a hastle to get in, and then fuvked out every other day, never just run smootly. Now its so easy to see where we went wrong and why it didn't work. 

APS wk5 - Recap of what I missed being absent th Wednesday before - they've installed most of th irrigation, but lucky for me there's still a bed left to do 🥳🙌 genuinely fomo survivor over here! Got to measure, snip, plug away at this, at some point that day. 

Back on teaching, learning environments, and hold th fuvk up, we just gona jump up and do a nice easy ten minute talk about any ol thing, keep it relevant oc, here's five min to prep, okie away you go! GULP 😂🤣🤣 I did mine on my Rotating Compost Bin System, a subject I know backwards, a thing I actually want to turn into a one hour course🦸🧟🤦‍♀️Started well enough, then escalated to that thing where you talk really quickly and don't make any sense,.. And th four hours I was standing up there, was actually only five minutes, not even th full ten minutes 😂 buuut that's OK. It's my first time, and I knew it'd be rough, and th next one will too! I'm here to learn this! And thats so fuvkn exciting! 

Walkies next, out to see alloted beds we'll be taking th riegns of. 31, 32 , & 33. They are wildly over grown. They are nestles on th EDGE of th Orchard/Food Forest! 😁Yeee! Soil Testing, Remediation, Planing, Seed Raising, n so on. Th doin of th things! Here. For. It 🙌 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱

📸 Pretty pix first, flowers, +

📷OK th ugliest! Wk4 Tues arvo. Made it to train station, feeling acompleshed, done th things, fuvk iiiiits hot!

📷Wk5 so fresh and so clean! I got this! Empty trains make me happy

📷 Fire circle, example of learning environments, circle seating, bringing it back to th heart, gathering around a fire 🤓

📷Full heart! Followed Northey St for so long, always wanting to come along to a solstice celebration here but life, family, mental health, and while I still have got to one, I'm here, and one day I will 🥰

📷Irrigation things

📸 Irrigation doings, it's not perfectly laid out bc it's been coiled up, needs to straighten in sun

📷🖕Vetiver Grass, so useful yet so annoying on my skin, stooop touching meeee! Nooo touches!

📸Beds 31, 32, 33. This pix are hard to see, which is which and what's what but I can't mentally filter what pix to put up in what order, but I took heeeeeaps bc BEFORE SHOTS! They great before shots! I'm sure I'll be able to put them in better order when it's not 11pm on a sat 😅

📸Th day is done and I've had fun

📷YO Mickeyyyy! In a treeeee!

📸Uuuglies! Made it to th train. I remember checking th time like, that coll, less that 15,its really not that far 🥴

📸 I'm good right!?! Yea I'll be fine. Am I still red?... Ohhh I'm really red 🙃

📸Wednesday sunrise contemplating pushing through. It's such a head fuvk. All th "i should do this/that" thoughts, do better, be better, that pressure, th expectations of others we perceive that are mostly just us giving ourselves an unnecessary hard time. 

Learning to truly check in with myself, and listen to my anxiety warning of past experiences, blocking our my head and listening, feeling within my body that somethings really not right. And finally calling it, but not with out a lil emo melt, and a bucket of fomo.